One Hundred Things to Try and Sound Like besides Animal Collective's Last Three Albums

1. Their first 5 albums.
2. If Charles Mingus were in the Beatles pre-Revolver.
3. If Charles Mingus were in the Beatles from Revolver on.
4. "I Talk to the Wind" by King Crimson
5. The first side of Low.
6. The second side of Low.
7. Your parents' best impression of their last 3 albums.
8. Charles Ives auditioning for Can.
9. The sense of embarrassment you (understandably) feel when you've poured yourself what you thought was vodka, but was, in fact, white vinegar.
10. Marital sex, conact-mic'd and run through a Digiverb pedal.
11. Guitars strung with human ligaments.
12. Muslim sacred music.
13. The Trees Community.
14. Kira Sedgwick trying, through song, to win back Kevin Bacon.
15. John Cage's "Dream".
16. William Baines.
17. Joan of Arc.
18. Joan of Arc.
19. Skeleton$.
20. How Joan of Arc felt.
21. Nudity.
22. The Cocker Spaniels.
23. The Geddy Address.
24. Mountains of hate eroded into hills of ambivalence.
25. Hills of ambivalence eroded into plains of apathy.
26. Plains of apathy eroded into valleys of love.
27. Plastic Ono Band.
28. Plastic Ono Band.
29. Going on Nicorette at age eleven.
30. Running out of Nicorette at age eleven.
31. Meeting someone on the internet.
32. The soundtrack to John Mayer and Gary Busey's buddy-cop romp.
33. Doctor Came at Dawn/Red Apple Falls
34. Wild Love.
35. "Obscured" by Smashing Pumpkins.
36. Rachel's
37. The score for The Mosquito Coast.
38. A dirty bedroom.
39. Sharon Van Etten singing in Sisters.
40. Staten Island's answer to Penderecki.
41. "Long Long Long".
42. Siamese Dream with a better drum sound.
43. Illumination by the Pastels.
44. Eureka by Jim O'Rourke.
45. TNT by Tortoise.
46. Drum's Not Dead without drums.
47. Very early Centro-matic.
48. My cat's early morning squeaks.
49. Mellow Gold and old Beck b-sides.
50. Johnny Cash and Donovan, together at last.
51. The weirder Smiths moments.
52. The sadder Solex moments.
53. "Torture Day" version with Cynthia Dall.
54. Cynthia Dall.
55. This Heat.
56. The Ex.
57. Fuck.
58. Bone Machine.
59. Xiu Xiu
60. Murmur.
61. Fables of the Reconstruction.
62. Automatic for the People.
63. Q Lazarus' "Goodbye Horses".
64. Portishead's Third.
65. In a Silent Way.
66. Bedhead.
67. The Dirty Three
68. The Fugs.
69. Calexico's darker moments.
70. Kyp Malone and Daniel Johnston with lots of helium and machine guns.
71. Unemployment.
72. Mission of Burma's more introspective moments.
73. Karate.
74. Karate.
75. Macha Loved Bedhead.
76. A literally insane kitten.
77. Millennial fear.
78. Laughing until it hurts.
79. Kissing.
80. Michael Jackson fronting U2.
81. Pregnancy, after trying for 20 years.
82. How purple everything gets when the sun is going down in the summer, in certain parts of Texas.
83. Sticking things like screws, needles, coils, and glass flecks inside your skin.
84. Swans.
85. The world, if the ending of Lost hadn't been so terribly disappointing.
86. The first taste of meat after not eating it for 10 years.
87. Staying up all night for good reasons.
88. Staying up all night for bad reasons.
89. Sleeping all day.
90. How you'd feel if you ingested nothing but sugary soda for a week.
91. Being cloned.
92. Flattop Tony and the Purple Canoes.
93. Honesty in Motion.
94. Wetness.
95. Songs original to David Lynch movies/shows / Angelo Badalamenti's scores thereto.
96. Drum circles where the drums are compressed to sound like Ringo's.
97. Ponytail.
98. Church bells.
99. Life in the fast lane.
100. The way Animal Collective's most recent 3 albums sounds to your pets.

This is in no way saying anything nasty about AC and their tunes.


6 comments:

  1. Please, if you're going to sound like a Portishead album... not that one.

    I'd like to hear about 15 artists all ripping off _Handwriting_ by Khonnor.

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  2. michael jackson fronting u2. travis make this happen.

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  3. People already try to sound like the first two Portishead records a lot!

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  4. clearly i'm not getting it. oh shit there went my indie cred.

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  5. I love the Macha/Bedhead reference!

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